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Joke of the day!
#1
Please share your jokes....I'll start.

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#2
A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop an says, "About an hour and half." The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looked up and said, "To your house."
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#3
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since
the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
maintained vehicle.
Money spent:
Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00

Oil Change instructions for Men :
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of
oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a
check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer,
write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil:
splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil
filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter, splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in
trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw
kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes.
Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug.
Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang
knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled
during any missed steps.
35) More Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2,500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1,500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00
BUT YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT!!!
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#4
A blond goes in to get her hair done. The stylist tells her she will have to remove the headphones. The blond replies, "I can't, I'll die." So, the stylist proceeds to cut her hair and gets to the point she tells the blond she will have to remove the headphones to finish. The blond, again, says, "I can't, I'll die." The stylist cuts a little more and again tells her she has to remove the headphones. The blond, again, replies, "I told you, I'll die if I do!" In disbelief, the stylist jerks the headphones off and slings them across the shop. As she turns back around to finish, the blond falls dead in the floor. Confused and amazed, the stylists picks up the headphones, puts them on, and listens.

And she hears "BREATH IN. BREATH OUT. BREATH IN. BREATH OUT."
06 nismo CC 4X4: SOLD and replaced with 2017 Jeep Unlimited Rubicon; Teraflex 3" lift, 315/70-17 Cooper STT PRO tires on Fuel Trophy wheels, JCR bumpers front and rear w/Warn 9.5cti winch in front, Ace sliders, GraBars, Weathertech window deflectors and floor liners
98 Jeep Wrangler in the garage, 2" lift, 33X12.50 BFG MTs on 15X8 MT Classic Locks, Pioneer/MTX/RF P3 Sound, Borla Header w/Flowmaster
63 and 67 Nissan Patrols (under construction)
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#5
mdawg4x4 Wrote:A blond goes in to get her hair done. The stylist tells her she will have to remove the headphones. The blond replies, "I can't, I'll die." So, the stylist proceeds to cut her hair and gets to the point she tells the blond she will have to remove the headphones to finish. The blond, again, says, "I can't, I'll die." The stylist cuts a little more and again tells her she has to remove the headphones. The blond, again, replies, "I told you, I'll die if I do!" In disbelief, the stylist jerks the headphones off and slings them across the shop. As she turns back around to finish, the blond falls dead in the floor. Confused and amazed, the stylists picks up the headphones, puts them on, and listens.

And she hears "BREATH IN. BREATH OUT. BREATH IN. BREATH OUT."

lol this is a real good one lmao
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#6
lv2dirtbike Wrote:
mdawg4x4 Wrote:A blond goes in to get her hair done. The stylist tells her she will have to remove the headphones. The blond replies, "I can't, I'll die." So, the stylist proceeds to cut her hair and gets to the point she tells the blond she will have to remove the headphones to finish. The blond, again, says, "I can't, I'll die." The stylist cuts a little more and again tells her she has to remove the headphones. The blond, again, replies, "I told you, I'll die if I do!" In disbelief, the stylist jerks the headphones off and slings them across the shop. As she turns back around to finish, the blond falls dead in the floor. Confused and amazed, the stylists picks up the headphones, puts them on, and listens.

And she hears "BREATH IN. BREATH OUT. BREATH IN. BREATH OUT."

lol this is a real good one lmao

x2, that is pretty funny! 167
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#7
a burglar breaks into a house one night and immediately starts looking for loot. in the darkness, a voice calls out: "Jesus is watching you...".

startled, the burglar shines his flashlight around but sees nobody, so he resumes ransacking the house. not a few minutes go by and again the same voice calls out: "Jesus is watching you...".

a bit nervous, the burglar looks around again but to no avail. he continues to search cabinets for any more valuables and again that voice tells him: "Jesus is watching you. and now he is hungry.".

finally, the bruglar hits the light switch and finds a parrot in a cage. "Let me guess..." the burglar says with a sigh of relief, "you must be Jesus".

"Nope" the parrot reacts "my name is Moses. Jesus is the rottweiler behind you, and now he is hungry".....
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#8
I like that one carphreak! 167
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#9
HEROES OF TOMORROW

A fireman is working on the engine outside the station when he notices
a little girl next door standing by a little red wagon with little ladders
fastened to the sides with scotch tape, and a garden hose coiled in the
middle of the wagon.

The little girl was wearing a red fireman's helmet and had on her older
brother's boots and a pink raincoat. She had hitched her dog and cat to
pull the wagon.

He walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck,"
the fire fighter says with admiration.

"Thanks, Mister Fireman."

The fireman looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the
wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

"Little Pardner," the fireman says, "I don't want to tell you how to
operate your rig, but if you were to tie the rope around the cat's collar too,
I think your fire truck would go faster."

The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You are probably right Mister
Fireman, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
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#10
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.

In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#11
carphreak Wrote:a burglar breaks into a house one night and immediately starts looking for loot. in the darkness, a voice calls out: "Jesus is watching you...".

startled, the burglar shines his flashlight around but sees nobody, so he resumes ransacking the house. not a few minutes go by and again the same voice calls out: "Jesus is watching you...".

a bit nervous, the burglar looks around again but to no avail. he continues to search cabinets for any more valuables and again that voice tells him: "Jesus is watching you. and now he is hungry.".

finally, the bruglar hits the light switch and finds a parrot in a cage. "Let me guess..." the burglar says with a sigh of relief, "you must be Jesus".

"Nope" the parrot reacts "my name is Moses. Jesus is the rottweiler behind you, and now he is hungry".....

hahahaha thats a real good one im gonna have to use that one
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#12
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I a$$ure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So, he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But, the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But, the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom.
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#13
A boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. "Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?" Then he gets an idea. . He calls his father. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!" "That's absolutely amazing!" his father says.
"How do I get him in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1000,"
the boy says, "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks. .
"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!" . "READ!?"
says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." ...And his father sends the money. . At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog..


When he gets home, his father is all excited.
"Where's Fido? I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!" ."Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little Blonde who lives on Oak Street?'" . The father says, "Oh, ****; I sure hope you SHOT that lyin' son of a gun!


"I sure did, Dad!"
.
"That's my boy!"
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#14
Poor dog, should have shot dad instead!
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#15
there was an old man who would always drop by the pet shop to look at parrots. he always wanted one, but can never afford one.

one day, the owner asks him if he wants to buy one for 20 bucks. he agrees but is suspicious of the deal. so he asks "what's the catch?" the shop owner replies," well this bird has been returned to me by different owners four times now, he just can't stop cussing!"

the old man, without hesitation, buys the bird and tells the owner, " i know how to make him stop cussing"

so walking home, the bird just screams obscenities left and right, utilizing all the known foul words known to man. when they get home, the old man aska the bird, "are you still gonna cuss at me?" immediately the bird answers with more foul words.

the old man shoves the parrot into the freezer and after a few minutes, takes him out. that instant, the bird politely says, "sir i promise i will never ever say another cuss word ever again in my entire life" "but tell me, what did the chicken do?"
"it does not matter who started the thread, at the end of the day i will be it's last poster...."
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#16
So Ole Billy has finally saved up enough $$$ to buy his dream Harley...
He goes into the shop and picks it out. The salesman then begins to ask him if he would like to buy the Chrome Protection Plan.

Billy tells him he doesn't have enough cash for it. And asks the salesman what he can do to protect the chrome. The salesman whispers...just carry around a small jar of vasaline, when you think it's going to rain, apply the vasaline to the chrome.

So Billy goes to show his new girlfriend his new Bike.
She tells him he needs to come to dinner and meet her family.
She warns him: " We have a rule in my house, the first to talk after dinner has to do the dishes." He says thats cool and they go to dinner.

Dinner ends and everyone is sitting around in silence. Finally Billy decides he's had enough. and starts to kiss his girlfriend in front of her parents. Nobody says a word.

So he walks over and start fondeling the Moms Breasts....
Not a word is said.

So he throws Mom on the table and has his way with her.
Not a word is said.

Billy then hears Thunder outside, and thinks to himself...oh crap My Bike!
He then grabs his vasaline from his pocket for the chrome....

And Dad Jumps up EFF That!!! I'll do the dam dishes! 165
[Image: blackhoops.jpg][Image: goodcoverpic.jpg]


Happiness Is Beating Bama in Anything, Anytime, Anywhere.

For Balage:
"A A leghalálosabb fegyver a világon van egy Tengeri és -a puska"
"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle"
04' Deep Water LE 4x4 CC Off-Road Big Tow, PRG Mini Kit 2" Front 1" Rear, PRG Shackles, Nitto Terra Grapplers 295 70/17, Painted Aluminum Diff Cover, Blue Activetuning Grounding Kit, 8000K HID Lows, Silver Star High & Turns, Flowmaster 40, VOLANT GEN III CAI, Throttle Body Screen Mod, UpRev 2 Deg. Timing Advance, JL Audio Cleansweep, Sony Explode 4ch Amp, Cadence 6.5" Components, (2) Kenwood KFC-W2511 10" Subs, Vshortt Built Custom Box, Clarion APX-1300 400 watt Amp, Black Billet 9" Antenna, 4 piece Painted Billet Grill inserts, (2) 8" Procomp 130 watt Off-Road Lights, (2) 55 watt Back-up Lights, Misery-Tom Fog Light Jumper Mod, AVS Smoked Hood Deflector, [b]Custom Painted Engine Cover IV with matching CAI lid.



SEMPER FI
WAR EAGLE
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#17
What nobody likes my joke??? 179 Oh well I DONT CARE!...sip..sip...sip..ahhhh. Thats for you Kev.
165
scottsbro23 Wrote:So Ole Billy has finally saved up enough $$$ to buy his dream Harley...
He goes into the shop and picks it out. The salesman then begins to ask him if he would like to buy the Chrome Protection Plan.

Billy tells him he doesn't have enough cash for it. And asks the salesman what he can do to protect the chrome. The salesman whispers...just carry around a small jar of vasaline, when you think it's going to rain, apply the vasaline to the chrome.

So Billy goes to show his new girlfriend his new Bike.
She tells him he needs to come to dinner and meet her family.
She warns him: " We have a rule in my house, the first to talk after dinner has to do the dishes." He says thats cool and they go to dinner.

Dinner ends and everyone is sitting around in silence. Finally Billy decides he's had enough. and starts to kiss his girlfriend in front of her parents. Nobody says a word.

So he walks over and start fondeling the Moms Breasts....
Not a word is said.

So he throws Mom on the table and has his way with her.
Not a word is said.

Billy then hears Thunder outside, and thinks to himself...oh crap My Bike!
He then grabs his vasaline from his pocket for the chrome....

And Dad Jumps up EFF That!!! I'll do the dam dishes! 165
[Image: blackhoops.jpg][Image: goodcoverpic.jpg]


Happiness Is Beating Bama in Anything, Anytime, Anywhere.

For Balage:
"A A leghalálosabb fegyver a világon van egy Tengeri és -a puska"
"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle"
04' Deep Water LE 4x4 CC Off-Road Big Tow, PRG Mini Kit 2" Front 1" Rear, PRG Shackles, Nitto Terra Grapplers 295 70/17, Painted Aluminum Diff Cover, Blue Activetuning Grounding Kit, 8000K HID Lows, Silver Star High & Turns, Flowmaster 40, VOLANT GEN III CAI, Throttle Body Screen Mod, UpRev 2 Deg. Timing Advance, JL Audio Cleansweep, Sony Explode 4ch Amp, Cadence 6.5" Components, (2) Kenwood KFC-W2511 10" Subs, Vshortt Built Custom Box, Clarion APX-1300 400 watt Amp, Black Billet 9" Antenna, 4 piece Painted Billet Grill inserts, (2) 8" Procomp 130 watt Off-Road Lights, (2) 55 watt Back-up Lights, Misery-Tom Fog Light Jumper Mod, AVS Smoked Hood Deflector, [b]Custom Painted Engine Cover IV with matching CAI lid.



SEMPER FI
WAR EAGLE
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#18
scottsbro23 Wrote:What nobody likes my joke??? 179 Oh well I DONT CARE!...sip..sip...sip..ahhhh. Thats for you Kev.
165
scottsbro23 Wrote:So Ole Billy has finally saved up enough $$$ to buy his dream Harley...
He goes into the shop and picks it out. The salesman then begins to ask him if he would like to buy the Chrome Protection Plan.

Billy tells him he doesn't have enough cash for it. And asks the salesman what he can do to protect the chrome. The salesman whispers...just carry around a small jar of vasaline, when you think it's going to rain, apply the vasaline to the chrome.

So Billy goes to show his new girlfriend his new Bike.
She tells him he needs to come to dinner and meet her family.
She warns him: " We have a rule in my house, the first to talk after dinner has to do the dishes." He says thats cool and they go to dinner.

Dinner ends and everyone is sitting around in silence. Finally Billy decides he's had enough. and starts to kiss his girlfriend in front of her parents. Nobody says a word.

So he walks over and start fondeling the Moms Breasts....
Not a word is said.

So he throws Mom on the table and has his way with her.
Not a word is said.

Billy then hears Thunder outside, and thinks to himself...oh crap My Bike!
He then grabs his vasaline from his pocket for the chrome....

And Dad Jumps up EFF That!!! I'll do the dam dishes! 165

Nope, hated it. 165 And thanks mofo. I gotta read that and I have 5 hours of work to go. 175
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#19
AHHHH You want some CHEESE with that WHINE?? 165

Guess I won't tell you we're going to a surprise birfday party for my wifes bestfriend, after my son's tourny Ball game.....I beleive everyone has been invited to stay the night after the party.... 192 275 192 192 192 192 192 192 192 177 185

OOPS I told you.. 163

krh2 Wrote:
scottsbro23 Wrote:What nobody likes my joke??? 179 Oh well I DONT CARE!...sip..sip...sip..ahhhh. Thats for you Kev.
165
scottsbro23 Wrote:So Ole Billy has finally saved up enough $$$ to buy his dream Harley...
He goes into the shop and picks it out. The salesman then begins to ask him if he would like to buy the Chrome Protection Plan.

Billy tells him he doesn't have enough cash for it. And asks the salesman what he can do to protect the chrome. The salesman whispers...just carry around a small jar of vasaline, when you think it's going to rain, apply the vasaline to the chrome.

So Billy goes to show his new girlfriend his new Bike.
She tells him he needs to come to dinner and meet her family.
She warns him: " We have a rule in my house, the first to talk after dinner has to do the dishes." He says thats cool and they go to dinner.

Dinner ends and everyone is sitting around in silence. Finally Billy decides he's had enough. and starts to kiss his girlfriend in front of her parents. Nobody says a word.

So he walks over and start fondeling the Moms Breasts....
Not a word is said.

So he throws Mom on the table and has his way with her.
Not a word is said.

Billy then hears Thunder outside, and thinks to himself...oh crap My Bike!
He then grabs his vasaline from his pocket for the chrome....

And Dad Jumps up EFF That!!! I'll do the dam dishes! 165

Nope, hated it. 165 And thanks mofo. I gotta read that and I have 5 hours of work to go. 175
[Image: blackhoops.jpg][Image: goodcoverpic.jpg]


Happiness Is Beating Bama in Anything, Anytime, Anywhere.

For Balage:
"A A leghalálosabb fegyver a világon van egy Tengeri és -a puska"
"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle"
04' Deep Water LE 4x4 CC Off-Road Big Tow, PRG Mini Kit 2" Front 1" Rear, PRG Shackles, Nitto Terra Grapplers 295 70/17, Painted Aluminum Diff Cover, Blue Activetuning Grounding Kit, 8000K HID Lows, Silver Star High & Turns, Flowmaster 40, VOLANT GEN III CAI, Throttle Body Screen Mod, UpRev 2 Deg. Timing Advance, JL Audio Cleansweep, Sony Explode 4ch Amp, Cadence 6.5" Components, (2) Kenwood KFC-W2511 10" Subs, Vshortt Built Custom Box, Clarion APX-1300 400 watt Amp, Black Billet 9" Antenna, 4 piece Painted Billet Grill inserts, (2) 8" Procomp 130 watt Off-Road Lights, (2) 55 watt Back-up Lights, Misery-Tom Fog Light Jumper Mod, AVS Smoked Hood Deflector, [b]Custom Painted Engine Cover IV with matching CAI lid.



SEMPER FI
WAR EAGLE
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#20
scottsbro23 Wrote:AHHHH You want some CHEESE with that WHINE?? 165

Guess I won't tell you we're going to a surprise birfday party for my wifes bestfriend, after my son's tourny Ball game.....I beleive everyone has been invited to stay the night after the party.... 192 275 192 192 192 192 192 192 192 177 185

OOPS I told you.. 163

An adult slumber party? Texans, sheeesh. 274
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#21
krh2 Wrote:
scottsbro23 Wrote:AHHHH You want some CHEESE with that WHINE?? 165

Guess I won't tell you we're going to a surprise birfday party for my wifes bestfriend, after my son's tourny Ball game.....I beleive everyone has been invited to stay the night after the party.... 192 275 192 192 192 192 192 192 192 177 185

OOPS I told you.. 163

An adult slumber party? Texans, sheeesh. 274

Ya never know..... 164 178
[Image: blackhoops.jpg][Image: goodcoverpic.jpg]


Happiness Is Beating Bama in Anything, Anytime, Anywhere.

For Balage:
"A A leghalálosabb fegyver a világon van egy Tengeri és -a puska"
"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle"
04' Deep Water LE 4x4 CC Off-Road Big Tow, PRG Mini Kit 2" Front 1" Rear, PRG Shackles, Nitto Terra Grapplers 295 70/17, Painted Aluminum Diff Cover, Blue Activetuning Grounding Kit, 8000K HID Lows, Silver Star High & Turns, Flowmaster 40, VOLANT GEN III CAI, Throttle Body Screen Mod, UpRev 2 Deg. Timing Advance, JL Audio Cleansweep, Sony Explode 4ch Amp, Cadence 6.5" Components, (2) Kenwood KFC-W2511 10" Subs, Vshortt Built Custom Box, Clarion APX-1300 400 watt Amp, Black Billet 9" Antenna, 4 piece Painted Billet Grill inserts, (2) 8" Procomp 130 watt Off-Road Lights, (2) 55 watt Back-up Lights, Misery-Tom Fog Light Jumper Mod, AVS Smoked Hood Deflector, [b]Custom Painted Engine Cover IV with matching CAI lid.



SEMPER FI
WAR EAGLE
Reply
#22
Awww, Scottsbro, I have heard your joke before. 165 But still funny!
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#23
Ok, everyone can relate to at least one of these... 167

1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille.
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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#24
No, that happens in Canada too! 167
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#25
LilRedExpress Wrote:No, that happens in Canada too! 167

I like this one....
Quote: can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

That is soooooo messed up! but true...
05 Nissan Frontier 4x4, Stillen SuperCharger, BFG AT's Tongue
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